floating

looks like im in space... floating... searching...
it's as if i am holding my breath so long that i am afraid to inhale and engulf my self with a lot of air... job seeker that is i am right now...
flattered though, because of the companies that are interested not only with my skills (in which i suppose just average) but also with the promise (i guess) they see in me... that's how i see myself... full of promise...
but i guess it is encapsulated with the inferiority complex i feel. people may say i am confident. but hell no! i just try to be. i reckon what one of the text messages i received:
"i am like a duck in the pond
...calm, serile and careless

but what you dont see under the water
...is the struggling and stessed feet"

where do i go from here? where will life lead me? i am still clueless. unaware. what do i want. sometimes i doubt on what i can do. what are my strength as a person - as a college graduate. as a 22-year old. i feel like im still a kid! i guess that's one of my problems. i sometimes act like a kid. im shying away the responsibilities i already have. trying to make things all ok. trying to break out and tell the world i am very free.

...but the truth is, i am not free. i am embraced with both arms by uncertainty. i dont really know what to do... still no direction. yes. i am fearless. i can outrage and fire any moment... yeah! i guess that is what i must and should think of now. i am ok. i am strong. i am me! i am... i...