basted...

masakit pala ang mabasted... ang sakit sakit pala...

thank God, naramdaman ko na. siguro yun yung kulang sa recipe ko... para mas magkaron ng lasa. ang maramdaman ang rejection...

hay... ang hirap pala pag ang nangyayari e hinihingi mo ang pang-unawa, yung tipong kailangan mo talagang magmakaawa para maintindihan ka... at least ngayon alam ko na kung pano ang nararamdaman ng isang taong nabasted. walang ipinag-iba sa kung ano ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. hay. ang sakit pala talaga.

masakit ang mabasted.

basted.

oo.

ako.

bumps and turns...

This whole thing is slowly turning in a different league. It has been a hurdle. But the sad thing is who’s hurdling. Yeah. Hurdle can’t be a hurdle without the people running and jumping. It is getting too tiring, really. Encouraging people, making them understand how to see the situation. But how can you encourage a person who already surrendered all of his arms and just be with you in the war that you are in? How can you manage to tell them that being in a battle without guns and explosives will not let them survive and will lead to losing the war? How can you open a door that does not exist on the other side? The saddest part of the story is when you are misinterpreted if your only goal is to let them see the other side of the mountain – flip the coin. What is really striking is that, timing gets out of the way, many, many times. It’s really difficult, pushing to something, if you are all alone; believing on something that you know is really close to happening. And you already saw the light at the end of the tunnel. But the frustrating thing is if the people with you deny what you see, simply because they are looking at a totally different side. That is the thing that I am afraid of experiencing… I hope not…

life after college

I received a message from a friend. It is really odd, if you are on your day to day basis. These are the questions:

Kuya mahirap ba pagkatapos ng college? Pano nagbago buhay? Maypinagkakagastusan ba kayo? Nakikialam ba family mo?

Kuya, is it hard after college? How did it change your life? How about your expenses?
Does your family involve themselves? (I don’t know if my English translation is the best translation… ehehheeh)

Well, the above questions, as I presume it, are really interesting. And I haven’t reflected on this yet. I mean, not specifically.

Life after college is a little tough but really different from your college ways. In my experience, I did not really find it hard when I was searching for a job. I found it really enjoyable. I mean, job hunting is one the most exciting experience that I had so far. Presenting yourself in the best possible way you can and actually measuring what you have gained from you college – it takes a little toil, but pays a lot when you get pretty good feedbacks. Now that I am already working, I can say that the only difference from my college days is that, I don’t really hold my time anymore. I cannot just don’t go to work because I just wanted to. Responsibility is slowly imposed on you because that is what is expected – you being a responsible individual.

My expenses are getting off hand most of the time. I think it is because I am so much enjoying spending for myself because I have not done that before. And it is very rewarding looking at the pieces of what you have perspired for. It is something to be proud of. Although, like what I said, budgeting for me is my worst talent. But it still gets me along from day to day.

I have the most wonderful family in the whole world. They provide me with a very reasonable way of letting me row for my own boat. They always tell me that I would just need to go whatever that makes me happy, and they will always be there to support me.

cracking my nails...

its funny how people scramble around and agonize for the things they fail to achieve. there are times that i reflect on this. could it be because we did not organize things? or is it because there is really somebody to blame? The first is a broad dome to deal with, while the latter, ambiguous - to whom will it be pointed.

in my premise, i would like to think that blaming somebody for not accomplishing a task crosses the line of being in a team. accepting mistakes is a more appropriate light. i am not a fan of it is because of his/her fault belief. that thing is a mere reason to escape - be free from being responsible for the failure. a brave man with a team spirit in him will stand for it and take responsibility for whatever outcome it has gone through. then act and think of the best reason to solve it. solutions for problems are endless. we just need to hit bull's eye.

prevention is better than cure - that is the ideology of doctors. and i think almost everybody agrees to this. organizing things helps ease out the pain of what the future will and might bring. as for me, suppose, i will be sailing into the sea, i will do a check list of the things that i should bring, what should i expect, including safety gears just in case something will come up. it will also include me thinking what's the worst thing that could happen. i may not know the very worst thing. but all i know is right before i sail, i will be able to think of all the craziest and nastiest things that the ocean will bring forth, because it is my life that is at stake. i believe that whatever things i may encounter, even if i was not able to anticipate it on the things that i have in mind before i went off and get lost in the ocean, solving it will not be a very much pain in the ass because i have a wider scope of anticipation, therefore, was able to have tools that can gear me up for anything... afterall, it is my life that is at stake. my life, my happiness, and my loved one's happiness...

in life, for every undertaking that we face, whether, it is of great deal or just something that we handle everyday, I think putting your all and preparing for it in the manner that you are scrutinizing every little detail of, will surely follow the path that prevention is better than cure ideology is stating.

IT

Me? is there anything new for me? well... yeah i think there is...
Sometimes I am thinking if I will ever find my place under the sun, and will it be soon...

Because i am already needing things. Craving for things and happenings that i know would satisfy my whole being...
i know i will surely have that spot...
but how soon?
i have been with 3 different companies now
and still, im seizing it
the "it" is still undefined for me...